Last night I had what I'll call a "date with God". I had plans for the night, some pretty epic plans with some of the students I've met during my (almost) month here in Michigan, but as the day continued on those plans were cancelled. I was having a meeting with Chris, my "supervisor"/the youth pastor at my new mission, and we got to talking about how my plans had been dissolved, and he asked me if I had seen a sunset on the beach by myself yet. The ironic/God-moment of his question was that the plans that had fallen through included going to the beach and watching the sun set. I hadn't, so he urged me to take my newly free evening and spend that time "alone". Part of a previous discussion the two of us had included our leadership training that we're doing on Sunday called "boot camp". During the afternoon we break off into what has always been referred to as "solo time". I challenged the name of this time, one because I'm just obnoxious like that and two because I always evaluate words and their usage, and if we are encouraging leaders to take this "solo time" to spend quality time with God, then it isn't really solo time, because God is a part of this time. So, when I decided to go view a sunset "alone" last night, we both new that I wasn't really going there to be alone- I was going to meet God for a date where He proceeded to show off some really beautiful artwork to me.
I went to Grand Mere Beach, took a blanket, my ipod, and some headphones and drowned out the world for about an hour. During my drive to the beach I was almost in tears when I thought of how excited I was to be spending some amazing, beautiful, quality time with the lover of my soul. And as I arrived I couldn't help but exude a feeling of being loved. You know, like a girl who's just been asked on her first date, or a guy who finally talked to that girl he's been macking on for forever- the giddiness that just pours from your very existence because you know that you matter to someone else in the world (other than your parents). It was intense and valuable time away from life, and people; I just looked at the sunset, the beach, the stars that started to appear and I knew- I knew that it was all for me. Oh sure, it was for everyone else in the world too, but in that hour I felt like I was the only one who mattered. Like sitting across the table from "that special someone" knowing that he/she isn't looking at anyone else in the room but you.
I discovered this song on the radio about a week ago, and the lyrics to the song were as if they were written specifically for me and these moments spent on the beach reveling in the majesty of God. It's called "Light Up the Sky" by: the Afters, and the lyrics go like this:
When I’m feeling all alone and so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It’s falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close
Chorus: Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shining
When I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Love is rushing in
(Chorus)
So I run straight to Your arms
You’re the bright and morning Sun
To show Your love, there’s nothing You won’t do
(Chorus)
And as if that wasn't enough, on my drive home I got to stare into the beautiful, beaming, full moon. The tears were inevitable at this point. But they weren't tears of sadness, or even joy- more tears of the realization that God does love me, not just in the Sunday school, daddy way- but in a passionate lover way. And that was beyond words.
